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Showing posts from August, 2010

Trying NOT to understand...

I’ve been trying to figure out what I could have done differently (as many parents do), like what I could have done to prevent my children from trying drugs; my sons from stealing; my son from being so angry; my son from leaving home and turning back to drinking and drugs; what would have helped all of them apply themselves more; what I will do with my youngest; how I could be a better parent, wife. I could go on. It’s not regretting things, it’s more then that. It’s trying to figure out how I could have done things better. How I could have done more, even what I shouldn’t have done. See, most recently it’s really been “in my face.” Having one child take to the streets is hard. I find myself wondering if I’d do the same thing if it were one of my other kids, wondering if it’s what God really wants me to do. And then it hits me, although even in this next thought I question myself. I realize I am trying to save my kids. Not just from making mistakes, I kn