Shine Today

Crave

2012-01-29T21:22:00.000-08:00

To Crave - to long for; want greatly; desire eagerly; yearn for; to have a strong or inward desire

We crave lots of things, some healthy, some not so much. Recently the church I attend did a series on Crave. Then, the women's group started up a bible study based on the book "Made to Crave." Both the book and the message series spoke about the truth that we were created to want things. Of course, over time and with the advancement of technology and the ease of fast food, LOTS of the things we "crave" hurt us in the end. Today, our pastor laid it out there-Could it be that we crave simply what 'we' want instead of what is best? I personally don't even have to think about the answer, for me it is a definite yes.

Over the years, I have desired to do what's best, eat better, exercise more, just do better. I have learned, however, that my habits were established long before I had issues with weight. I remember eating powdered donuts with chocolate milk often. I remember getting these YUMMY potatoes covered in cheese with bacon on them often. I didn't watch my portions, didn't worry about what I ate or how much. I also learned that my issue isn't so much over-eating sweets, or even over-eating. I eat just because the food is good. It could be a salad and I will have a huge one or go back for seconds. It could be a healthy meal and of course, it is the sweets and snacks. I eat.

My other issue I have learned is that I eat way too fast. This causes me to eat beyond my body getting enough to be full. This is also a problem when someone brings out say something for snacking on, like for a party. I won't be hungry but will eat because the food is good.

What I have also learned is that i have a battle within. Now, all of us do, the battle to do what is right vs what we want. This doesn't mean we want to do bad things, some times what we want to do isn't bad, it's just not the right thing. So, I've decided that for the month of February, I will not be eating sweets or junk food and will make notes for me to focus on not eating simply because the food is there. OK, it's out there. Now I'm accountable to you.

I will update this as I take steps to live a life craving God's will and His plan vs what I want.

I just want to finish

2011-11-30T22:17:00.000-08:00

I have a problem staying organized and keeping up with housework. I'm not looking for spot free, dust free, dirt free, everything in it's place. But, I would like a little more order. My biggest issue is that I can never seem to finish. Like, I'll start in one room, mess up another and then never finish either. Then there's the garage. I finally was getting close to being able to make it usable, but never finished. Now it's packed again. Funny thing is, there really was a time nothing was in it except a car. The not so funny thing is it gets overwhelming and I find myself spinning in circles. I can SO see how people become hoarders...

Prayer

2011-09-26T07:23:00.000-07:00

I am pretty sure this one will offend some, but I really believe it needs to be said. Time and time again I read comments about how amazing the power of it is. I realized that pretty much the only time I hear about how amazing prayer is is AFTER prayer has been answered the way we want it to be - Got the job! Healed! Found a new home! Married! Safe travels! - fill in your "answer" to prayer. How often do we hear about how great the power of prayer is when the answer isn't what we want? God's answer to prayer is ALWAYS amazing! No matter how He chooses to answer!

I have prayed for people to be healed only to see them die or continue to suffer. I have prayed for marriages only to watch them stay the same or crumble in divorce. I have prayed for finances, organization, families, prosperity, for people to fall in love with Jesus and many other things only for my prayers to be answered, well with a "no" or a "wait." Does that change the awesomeness of prayer? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Does that mean I am saying that when someone we pray for dies is awesome? NO! I am simply saying that we need to remember that regardless of how God chooses to answer, prayer is ALWAYS amazing! God's answer is ALWAYS perfect! He isn't sitting up in heaven saying "Hmmm, whose prayer should I answer today they way they want it to be and who should I say no to?"

I firmly believe in the power of prayer. I firmly believe God hears our prayers. I firmly believe that He CAN do all things and WILL answer prayer. I also firmly believe He will answer the way He sees best. And I believe that when His answer is not the one we hoped for, He will also pour out His strength, His peace and His comfort as an ANSWER to our continued prayer. Life has trials of many kinds, but God's promises are true and for that, I am grateful! The power of prayer IS amazing! Even better is that God promises He will never leave us nor forsake us. When God doesn't answer they way you think He should, don't give up on Him.

Where have they gone?

2011-09-04T20:47:00.000-07:00

Today's message was led by our youth. Got me thinking. A comment made stated that those born in the late 80's to late 90's desire to be a part of something big. I've taught some of these kids. I've shared the gospel, taught about the way we should live, spoken to them about planting seeds, shared bible stories, shared stories of martyrs, and so much more. Yet, right in the middle of today's message, I asked myself "where are they now?" This led to the following...

Where are they? Did we do enough, did I? How many young people sat through chapel, youth, main service, heard the truth about Jesus, even committed their life to Christ, only to walk away? I look back and think about all the young adults who have walked through my life. I think about some of the messages I taught to so many of them. I remember what some of them said they wanted to do. I had really great talks with so many, but my heart breaks as I consider where they are today. I don't mean they've all turned to a life of crime, just that they have chosen to "put God on hold." And, I have to ask, is it because I shared too much of my past or not enough? Did I not share enough about consequences to my actions? Did I not love unconditionally, or at least show that I did? Was I too hypocritical? Too judgemental? Not consistent enough? Too demanding? Did I give them too much freedom? Not enough? Did I pour Jesus into them enough? Did I love God enough for them to see? Was I too critical? Insensitive? Was it that I just didn't give them a chance? Doubted their abilities? Did I not encourage enough? It is one thing for us to sit back and say "we did our best" "Don't be so hard on yourself" or worse, act like it's "normal" for kids to go through this. I've even heard people say "All children will rebel" and "kids are going to experiment," as if that makes it OK. I say we are missing something critical, beyond blame, beyond the truth of fallen man & consequences. Sure, these things are a factor, so does that mean we just leave it there? Aren't we supposed to be people of change? Shouldn't we do what we can to overcome our past? Aren't we responsible to raise up the next generation to love God?

Now I find myself wondering what do we do, how are we supposed to respond? How do we instill a passion for truth in Christ so that everyone will refuse to "put God on hold?" Maybe it starts with saying I'm sorry, again. Maybe it starts with deciding to stop placing blame on things, because the truth is, God is bigger then my past, my children's past and our future. So, I will start here - I'm sorry for not listening when I should have and for lecturing when I shouldn't. I'm sorry for judging you by what you wear or listen to or by your hair color or body piercings. I'm sorry for doubting your abilities. I 'm sorry for being critical and not saying I believe in you. I'm sorry for the times I jumped to conclusions or accused instead of asking. I'm sorry for sounding as if I have it all figured out, because I don't. I'm sorry I wasn't consistent in areas I should have been. I'm sorry for not speaking words of encouragement more often. I'm sorry I wasn't a better example of who Jesus is and I pray you will see Him for who He really is. I really don't know exactly where to go from here, but I do want you to know I've always cared. I know I didn't always respond the way I should have and I know my facial expressions often said the opposite of what I spoke. I truly am sorry.

I write this not just to the children I gave birth to, but to every one of you who came into my life, whether through birth, chapel, Brigades, school, Sunday School, living in my home, hanging out with my kids or in my house, or simply to those I met briefly in hallways. I wish I could say the words to make you believe I care. I wish I could help you see that just because "man" has failed you doesn't mean that's all there is. I know life can be hard, just don't give up.

To all of us, I would ask this, where do we go from here? What needs to change? We can't keep responding with "that's just the way it is" and we can't keep placing blame.

so what do we do?

A blog I read...

2011-08-18T15:42:00.000-07:00

So, I read a blog today about limits (you can find it here http://leadingandlovingit.com/ ). It got me thinking. There are things I really want to do but just can't seem to find the time to get serious about it (like this blog & photography). I realize I am a mom (who also happens to homeschool) and I can't just leave my youngest at home by herself, but that's not the point (that's just a good excuse). What really caught my attention is the simple truth - we all have limits. And we need limits in order to function at 100% at the things we do. It's just, how do you figure out what to say no to and what to say yes to?

I have seen people do it. No, I am not comparing myself, just stating a fact. I am not looking to be superwoman, just a woman who can run her household efficiently. I wouldn't mind de-cluttering a bit more too. And, I want to finish. Not just start in one room or one corner at a time. I've been there, done that. All I end up doing is cleaning that spot but creating a bigger mess somewhere else. Then, when I go clean that mess, I end up putting it back where I just cleaned. It's a vicious cycle and I want to break it...

Just Live

2011-06-18T08:48:00.000-07:00

I have come to realize that most of my life has been just doing, just being. For me, I never had to be told to do my homework, I just did it. I didn't have to be told to get a job, I just did. Lots of things, I just do. Its been this way since I was little. By the time I first learned how to tie my own shoes, I did it, no help, even if it took 30 minutes to get them tied, I did it (my mom tried to help, but I always said I can do it). Even when it came to teaching my kids how to do math, I can show them all the ways to solve a problem, but learned that I was just doing it, not really teaching it.

This comes in to play in several areas of my life. The problem is that there are times I need to have an answer as to HOW I do it or WHY I do it. Or, better yet, to show someone else how or why to do something. But, my words rarely seem to come out right. When this happens, I watch the response of the one I am trying to explain something to and it's not a good sight. It often comes with a frustrated result, and, can even cause the person to believe I am disappointed in them.

I made a decision at the beginning of this year that I would process things through the word LIVE. I don't want to "just be" anymore. But, how does that work? Below is the definition I found:

Live - to show the characteristics of life; be alive

Life - the animate existence of an individual, to fill with courage or boldness;

Animate - encourage, to make lively, vivacious, or vigorous; give zest or spirit to

Its the last word that gets me. I want to encourage. Because God tells me to and because we all need to be encouraged. I want my words to bring life to those around me. So maybe my word needs to be Animate. Either way, I have found that to live is not as easy as it sounds when you have "just been" for over 30 years. It's not that I feel I "only" exist. That's not it at all. I don't really know how to explain it (which has ALWAYS been part of my problem). All I know is, I don't have all the answers, I'm tired of sounding arrogant, I don't like being hypocritical and sometimes in my passion, I come across really strong and opinionated. I don't mean to, it's just who I am.

I want to Animate. I want to live a life that leads others to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. He was my answer and continues to be my answer. AND, I know, without a doubt, 100% guarantee, He is your answer too. That's how I want to live. I want to ANIMATE! Just be warned, sometimes I will animate loudly and boldly and it could come across wrong.

Suicide, please read

2011-05-01T19:31:00.000-07:00

So, I read a book. Well, actually, I have read lots. But, this one I just finished, well, something needs to be said more then just what I wrote in my review (which you can find here: http://shine2day2bookreview.blogspot.com/ )

The book is called "Life, in Spite of Me." It is about a young lady who lived after a suicide attempt. The thing that makes me want to share it here too is that her story is the story of MANY of our young adults and youth today, for that matter, even adults. Suicide is huge, almost popular. When I was growing up, if you heard someone had killed themselves it affected you simply because you didn't hear about it very often. Today, suicide seems to be happening all the time. Worse is the amount of people who struggle with depression, who feel there is nothing worth living for or that life is just a bummer. Just the other day I heard about 2 young girls who both struggled with depression and together, ended their lives at what should have been a fun sleepover.

Why do I post this? Because God loves you. You ARE REALLY here for a purpose. God REALLY does have plans for you. I know, the "God" speech. But I'm telling you, there is a hope. Kristen wanted to end her life. But she lived. SEVERAL people approached her saying she should not have survived. One paramedic on the scene ran into her later in life and told her she had lost so much blood that she should not have survived. A train conductor approached her after she spoke and told her he has never met someone who lived after a train ran them over. This conductor said that the she should have been sucked into the train. Kristen will tell you there was a force that kept her from being pulled in and that she now knows that force was God.

I know life can be difficult. I know things WON'T always go well. I know sometimes it seems like nothing is going right. But, I also know that there IS a purpose. We ARE meant for so much more. We WERE made for more than failure and avoiding disaster!

PLEASE, if you feel like life isn't worth living anymore, contact someone. Even if you are just struggling with life, let someone know! It is SO important to reach out. I know what it is like to feel alone, like you don't fit in. But we all fit, somewhere. Kristen has a facebook page and has started an outreach for people struggling. Her outreach is called Reaching You. The website is located at http://www.reachingyouministries.com/. Another great site is called "To Write Love on Her Arms." Their website is http://www.twloha.com/ Or contact me. Or someone close to you. Just let SOMEONE know. There is hope. There is help. People DO LOVE YOU! And, although I might not even know who you are, I really do care about you.

Truths about homeschooling...and life

2011-04-27T19:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just want to let it all out, you know, tell it like it really is. See, homeschool, parenting, taking care of a house, life, they're all hard. There is not ANYTHING easy. OK, wait, maybe...no, never mind, nothing. See, making the decision to teach your children is time consuming, takes discipline and has it's challenges. At times, I'd much rather be doing other stuff. Then there's the never ending laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning... As a parent, wow, where do I start. Raising kids is a challenge like no other! You WILL question your self over and over.

But then, living single has its ups & downs. Sending your kids to public school has its moments. Not taking care of my home has REAL bad consequences! (sorry, had to throw that in :) )

Then there are those moments where you listen to your child read on their own. And the times they just randomly draw you a picture. And you do get all the housework caught up, even if just until the next meal. And you have green bean wars with your oldest. And your middle child takes you on a date. And your youngest reaches up to hold you, just because. And you feel your grandchild move inside the womb. And you watch your child say "I Do." And you watch your child volunteer in various ways for over 5 years. And you have a flour fight with your youngest. And your children cook dinner for you. And your children get together with other "children" and make you a dinner so they can say thanks. And you watch your first grandchild come into the world. And you realize, over and over and over, you realize you would NEVER change it for anything!

Things

2011-03-23T21:22:00.000-07:00

You know, sometimes I find myself just asking a lot of questions. Well, recently it's been about our explorer and what to do with it. Oh, a Ford Explorer that is. Back on Thanksgiving, it broke down. While trying to figure out what to do with it, and finding someone to fix it, I felt as though I was supposed to go ahead and take it to a shop vs having "friend" do it. Well, $6200+ later, my husband said no way. So now what. Well, this morning I called the shop to tell them I'll have it towed home. While waiting for the shop to let me know it's ready, I went ahead and placed an ad for sale on the web. Within 5 minutes max, someone called. Long story short, he bought it, as is. Hiss uncle is a mechanic. I loved that truck. It was sad to see it go.

Then, I go and help my daughter look at a place for rent for her and her husband. As much as I don't want them to move out, I know they plan on more children and it's already crowded in our 3 bedroom 1 bath home. With mixed emotions, I told her I liked the house and to consider a few things, but turn in the app.

In my many more questions (to myself of course) at this point, I found myself very pre-occupied as often happens. And then it happened, the sky let some hail fall and then erupted in noise! Thunder, Lightning, Hail, even a rainbow appeared! Some of the claps of thunder were so stinking loud it set off people's car alarms! It rumbled and crackled for at least 2o minutes! I loved it! And the whole time I was thinking "ok, Lord, I hear you. You have everything in your hands and it will be ok. Thanks God :)"

Marriage Becoming Obsolete?

2011-01-17T20:31:00.000-08:00

Could marriage really become obsolete? A friend of mine sent me a text saying that new surveys show 39% of American's believe so. That's up from 1978 when only 28% felt that way. Really? I told him I disagreed and he asked me why. Well, because I believe that there will always be enough people, especially believers in Christ, that will believe in marriage. BUT, 39% is a LOT of people! That's about 4 out of 10 that believe marriage is becoming obsolete. Could we end up in a place where less than 50% believe in marriage? With living together increasing yearly, up 13% just last year, where will marriage be in 10 years?
So, my questions... Is it that we don't believe in marriage, or that we just don't like the way it looks today? Why do more people believe marriage is on its way out then ever before? What is marriage to you? And lastly, who are these people interviewed?

2010-12-22T10:08:00.000-08:00

I learned something interesting about the gift God gave us this time of the year. Sending His Son to fulfill prophecy was enough, but He didn’t stop there. Sending His Son so that we could find forgiveness was enough, but He didn’t stop there. Putting all of our sin on His Son so that He would nail it to the cross was definitely enough, but He didn’t stop there. God came to the place of being human for another thing, so that we would never be alone, so that we could be who God created us to be, so that we would always have someone to go to, so that WE would have someone there through the calm and through the storm, so that we would not walk in fear or doubt, and He didn’t stop there either. God is not finished with His reasons for coming. He won’t stop either, not until it is completely finished in each one of us. EACH. That’s all of us. He wants to complete each and every one of us. And, He has given us all we need to be all He created us to be. He continues to work in us until we go home to Him. His work is not finished in us until that moment, the moment we are made complete. When is that? The moment we are finished here on earth, then we are made complete. It is a gift we do not have to repay, in fact, it is a gift we cannot repay. It is a gift with no strings attached. It is a free gift that only asks one thing of us – but it will cost us everything. That’s the glory of it though, although it will cost me everything, although it will cost you everything, it will set us free. This gift will do more for us in 1 day then all the gifts from a friend or loved one will give us in a lifetime. It doesn’t make sense. It goes against everything we know, everything we understand. That’s what makes it so great, this gift from God will do far more then we could ever imagine. WILL DO. This gift goes beyond the day we open it. This gift is life changing, don’t forget about it. Get the gift. It is yours for the taking. It is available to all who ask. It is the best gift you will ever open, trust me, or wait, trust Him. Open it. Receive the gift God offers you today. Don’t wait. Let the perfect gift come into your life and change you forever.

Merry Christmas!

Since August

2010-11-26T17:19:00.001-08:00

Wow, it's been a few months. I've attempted to write a couple times, but just either didn't have the time or didn't know what to say. Since August, much has changed, including the birth of my first grandchild. Brayden Maddox came into the world Sept 24. He is healthy and all are doing well. Since August, Brittani, Andy & Brayden all moved in. Cozy & crowded, but I like it :) Since August, my husband has been sticking around the house more, watching movies with us. Since August, my mom was in and out of the hospital again. Since August, my niece Ashley came out to visit and my nephew Thomas announced that he and his wife are expecting a baby. Since August, we had a great time on Thanksgiving with too much food, surrounded by family. Since August, someone got ahold of our debit card number and charged over 150 dollars worth of gas. Since August, the head gasket on my explorer died...

Hmm, right up to those last 2 (and my mom being in the hospital) it's all been stuff worth celebrating. So, I found myself wondering how to respond to the bank thing and the truck thing. It's frustrating. And, holds an uncertain future. But, at the same time, I have found myself thinking about the reality that through it all, God is still there. He still cares about me. He holds me close to Him and WILL get us through this. I don't understand why any of it happens, the good and the bad. But, God is still God. He is still worthy of praise. He will take care of our needs. Just because life still happens doesn't mean God doesn't care. And that is what I will hold onto- His promise, His word. I will continue to trust Him and I will still love Him.

Trying NOT to understand...

2010-08-03T20:34:00.000-07:00

I’ve been trying to figure out what I could have done differently (as many parents do), like what I could have done to prevent my children from trying drugs; my sons from stealing; my son from being so angry; my son from leaving home and turning back to drinking and drugs; what would have helped all of them apply themselves more; what I will do with my youngest; how I could be a better parent, wife. I could go on. It’s not regretting things, it’s more then that. It’s trying to figure out how I could have done things better. How I could have done more, even what I shouldn’t have done. See, most recently it’s really been “in my face.” Having one child take to the streets is hard. I find myself wondering if I’d do the same thing if it were one of my other kids, wondering if it’s what God really wants me to do.

And then it hits me, although even in this next thought I question myself. I realize I am trying to save my kids. Not just from making mistakes, I know they aren’t perfect. I want them to just believe what I say, but then, that makes it more about me and me being right. It’s not about me and I can't save them. And, then I have to believe that although there are things I could have, should have, done differently, I can’t go back. All I can do is let them know I messed up; let them know that even though things could have been better, they still have a choice to make. And, hold on to the fact that just because it never was done “that” way before, things change. And we all learn along the way. And we have a choice to make, a choice to either focus on the things we messed up on, the things that were done wrong, even argue about how I, as a parent, don’t do things the same with each kid or even how what I did before isn’t how I want it done now. But, this choice pattern will keep us in the past, defeating any effort we give to better.

The other choice is to realize that no one can save us, NO ONE. We can’t save ourselves; our best friend can’t save us; our spouse cannot save us; our parents can’t either. There is only 1 choice to make and that choice is to choose life. But, how do we do that? How do we move forward choosing to make the best of things? The only way I know, no, the only way period is to choose to let go and surrender my life to Christ. It’s not easy. The problems WON’T go away overnight, some may never leave. BUT He CAN save me. He CAN save my kids. He CAN save you. And, although it doesn’t always make sense, although I still question things and wonder if what I am doing is right and even cry out to Him when I know what I did was wrong, He is the answer. My older brother has said it for years, I’ve said it before too but it’s worth repeating-Life demands an answer, God is it. But, letting God be the boss of my life has to be just that, my life. I can’t “try it for a week” and say it isn’t working. I can’t even try it for a year and decide it's not working. See, it’s got to be all or nothing. Hmm, I’m answering myself as I type this. See, if I decide right now that trusting God with all this confusion just is no longer worth it and I just do it my way (which believe me, my way would change day to day), well, it would just make a bigger mess. My way is emotionally and circumstantially based. I don’t want that seesaw adventure. I want to know that no matter how confusing it gets, no matter how hard it seems, no matter how scary it appears, no matter what, I can trust in God, who NEVER changes, who is ALWAYS there, who is simply waiting for me to call out to Him and then wait for HIS answer in HIS timing. Which brings me to this - There are times I wish life made more sense. But I guess if it always did, I wouldn’t need to trust God. Isa 55:8-9

Marriage

2010-07-11T22:22:00.000-07:00

After watching my parents this last week, I’d have to say a very critical part of staying married is just that, staying married. And, putting up with each others flaws. Not ignoring them like they don’t exist, but learning how to live with differences. We are not created equal. There WILL be things that others do that bother us or we wish were different. When you live day to day with some of those issues, you MUST make the choice to look past a LOT of things. One other thing. My dad is what I like to call an “introvert” romantic. Meaning he doesn’t express things all the time. Its why it became important for my mom to pay attention to the things he did that showed he loved her. One time that really stands out is when my mom was in the hospital. Starting with the time he talked to her right as she was admitted, he told her he loved her. Then, despite his own health issues, he insisted on visiting, bringing flowers the 1^st visit. And last, knowing she would be coming home, he made sure the air conditioner was on-see, my dad would rather not have it on, ever. They will celebrate 46 years this August and in this last week, I have learned a great deal from them. Despite their differences and times where they got on each others nerves, they still love each other.

This is in response to a conversation I read on FaceBook between people I know and love.

2010-06-05T23:48:00.000-07:00

They’re just words, right?

Freedom of speech! I should be able to say what ever I want whenever I want, right?

Well, it depends. From here forward, I write this to those who call themselves Christians. Why? Not to single anyone out because what I am writing is good for everyone. But, those who do not profess to be Christians aren’t held to what I am about to say.

They are just words, words that when you look them up in the dictionary mean pretty much not bad things. For example, the “sh” word as it is commonly referred to really does mean poop. And, in some countries, its what they say; it’s not considered cussing. The f-word, well, it means intercourse. So, they really are just words. Lets also take into consideration that even if my words aren’t “cuss” words it doesn’t make it OK to just say whatever, like calling someone names or insulting ones intelligence. The Bible is very clear as to how our speech should be. Proverbs alone is filled with verses about the tongue and the power it has. The bible speaks of how we should sing praises to God, last I checked, David never penned the f-word or insults in the Psalms.

The following verses are just a few that really stand out…

Psalms 19:14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. Ephesians 5:4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. Matthew 12:36-37 But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned." 1 Peter 3:10 For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech Hebrews 3:13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. Psalms 119:172 May my tongue sing of your word, for all your commands are righteous. Psalm 37:30 The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks what is just. Proverbs 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death

Hmmm, gotta wonder if the conversation that was had meets any of the above.

Lets move to argument number 2 – Freedom of speech. I dealt with this one some time ago, and here is what I came up with. Let me just add that if my “freedom of speech” goes against someone’s rules or breaks a law, is it still defendable by freedom of speech?

Freedom of speech is the right to express opinions freely without interference.

interference: something that interferes.

interferes: To be or create a hindrance or obstacle

hindrance: to cause delay, interruption, or difficulty in

What freedom is there in speaking freely if what I freely speak brings death? hurt? judgment? hate? rudeness? disrespect? Couldn’t that provoke the other person to "freely" speak back? If I speak whatever I want, could I actually be interfering? Or creating an obstacle?

True freedom is that which brings forth life, more freedom, liberty, truth, order, edification. Freedom cannot exist along side death and hate.

I am not taking sides or saying that all parties were wrong. I am simply stating a truth that so often gets ignored. I deal with this “freedom of speech” regularly in my own home. I am NOT in any way trying to say I never say things I shouldn’t or even that I do not cuss. But, what I am saying is that we too often focus on whose right or whose wrong instead of going to the Word to see what God says. We justify our position. We say “this is who I am so deal with it.” We insult other people, calling them children, or idiots. And we do it over emotionless & expressionless facebook, or texting. Truth is even people reading this won’t see my emotion or hear it in my voice as I type.

We are Christians. Little Christ’s. Called that because we are SUPPOSED to look like Jesus and do what He did. He chose His words wisely. He only became angry when people were trashing His Father’s house. He forgave. He loved, unconditionally. He wasn’t rude or self-seeking. And He tells us how to live. He tells us to love one another. It is put very plainly in Colossians 3 - Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the LORD forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the LORD Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Let us be the light we are supposed to be. Let us wear the name Christian because we really look like Jesus…

Wow, moving up!

2010-04-22T17:46:00.000-07:00

OK, last entry I added a badge. This time I added another blog to this one. It's my book review page. Click on it and review the latest book I have read. By the way, did I mention I got the latest book for free? Yep, from BookSneeze. It's a great way to get good books.

Dont laugh

2010-04-09T11:24:00.000-07:00

OK, for the most part, I am rather "blog illiterate." Meaning I really don't know how to make all the creative things, add pictures, add badges, etc. I pretty much just do basic stuff, until today. I just learned how to add a badge! I know, pretty exciting stuff. :) but, it is pretty cool to learn things. And, this one? Well, it's a site where if you agree to review a book, they will send you one for free. Yep, that's it. Sign up and agree to do book reviews on your blog site and they will send you a book to read & review. Missed the one I actually signed up for, but I bought it from another site :). I enjoy reading and am really looking forward to writing reviews of the books I have read. It also gives me another reason to blog.

That said, today my oldest daughter will be going to her 1st doctor appointment for her baby. I get to tag along :) It is still crazy to think I have a son-in-law and that I will be a grandma. I have been enjoying their company as they have been over for dinner several times since getting married (which is OK by me!). My youngest enjoys it too and is already asking when they are coming over today.

On another side note, I am looking to figure out a way to tell my story. Why? because everyone has a story to tell and I believe everyone has a story to hear. And, because I never tell anyone anything unless it's obvious, although even then I don't give all the details. I don't think I need to "air my laundry" and I believe some things are meant to be shared between only a few. I just really think if we were all more willing to be honest (not to a hurtful way), we would all be better off, after all, we learn from each other.

OK, i'm off...

just a thought, or two

2010-03-21T22:24:00.000-07:00

or none...

Home/public/private school. Raising children. Letting them go. Loving through the good and bad. Staying married. what do these 5 things have in common? None of them are accomplished through a step-by-step program :) yet, people do this all the time. How do you know how to do it? How do we work together to make these things all work out? Each child is different. Each marriage is different. Each person is different. So how do you know exactly what to do? How do you know what's best?

sometimes I wish the answers were written down so clear that all you had to do was follow the rule and there ya go...there's so much more to it though. and, lets not forget what the mind will do to whatever decision you make anyway...

Life passes you by

2010-02-02T15:08:00.000-08:00

A friend of mines daughter posted this on her page "i'll blink, and be thirty-then blink, and be dead." She's 21. I was 21 when I got married and when I got pregnant. 21 years ago. Now, my 1st born is getting married and having a baby of her own. How did that happen? Is there a slow mode anywhere? This same friend made a comment to me the other day about how when she lived in Missouri life was a little slower and being back in California for a VERY short time she already feels the pull to go go go. Sometimes I feel like life has gotten so far away from me that i don't know how to get it back. You know what I mean? Like how do you get done what needs to get done, do what you need to do and get it all done? I move piles from one place to the next, like just today. I cleaned my counters in my kitchen, which included a pile of papers (important papers). guess where they went? my table... If I clean my table, guess where the paper pile will go? my counter...and so it goes.

Back to my original thought. It has been a busy year. My 2 boys finished high school (early) and 1 has started 2 classes at our local college while the other is waiting to see if he can get in. I have been trying to figure out how to get organized (again) and get control of our finances (again). My uncle is moving out of his house, which I have been trying to help with (although not very helpful). and, I started volunteering at the church I attend. and I'm trying to be more consistent in my "listening" time (that's a whole other entry) This seems so basic, like nothing over the top, but for some reason, I just can't seem to get it all done. And I often struggle with what is a priority. And, I want to read more, want to respond to what I do read (when it's on the net) and post more about books and movies and life and... oh, did I mention I still homeschool my youngest?

And then I find myself so wanting to do more. And now I'm going to be a grandma - which I am very excited about. But, it is the reality of my title - Life passes you by. I think it would help if I had places to put things or someone who could come in and help get it all done (I have a HUGE tendency of not finishing). and then, maybe then I could take the time to stop, and listen...

ramblings

2009-12-06T21:52:00.000-08:00

December. How is it already December? Seems like I just wrote a blog entry for Christmas 2008 and now here we are, 2009. Does it ever slow down again??

Well, I've been helping my great-Uncle with some things at his house. It has given me a new perspective of how much we really need each other. Going through things that have been accumulating since 1953 is quite a task. But, I so enjoy it! Watching my uncle as he sees the things we find for him to tell us whether it's keep, give away or throw away is priceless. He can tell stories just with his face. And he remembers so much! He can still remember enough French to teach today if he could!

I do miss our times together as a family. We used to get together every year! Thanksgiving, Christmas and any other reason there is. He always brought the homemade ice cream. The other day we were talking and he pulled out a recipe for Orange Marmalade Cake. Told him I'd make it, just for him.

And the books, wow, does he have a lot of books. I know where I get my "collect everything" from too because he did just that. Not junk either, I mean, yes, some of it is ready for the trash. Its fun going through it.

It's supposed to snow tonight. and I need to go to bed.

Learned a new perspective today, Jesus knew the reason for this season - YOU are the reason. I hope and pray all will see this and make the decision to surrender to Him. He is truly all we need...

2009-10-25T13:42:00.000-07:00

If I could tell you what burns inside of me and knew it would make sense I would. Even as I write this I have already forgotten a thought. My heart aches for you all. Watching the struggles you go through, the aches and pains; yes, I know in life it is unavoidable, but I also know for some of you it can get hopeless. There are some people who say this is just how it is, but that answer always brings me pain and frustration I cannot explain. I want to shout at those who say it, telling them that answer is not good enough. Kids are dying without knowing the truth, without walking in it-I’m not OK with it.

But, I’ve never known what to do. A part of me believes I need to start here-

I’m so sorry for ever making you feel as though you don’t have a voice, as if you wouldn’t understand. I’m sorry for being hypocritical, religious, judgmental, critical. That is not how it was supposed to be, I never meant to hurt anyone. I’ve judged you by the way you look, what you say, the music you listen to. I’ve judged you by your sexual preference, by how much you drink, by the drugs you use. I’ve been critical of things that really don’t matter and because of that I caused you pain. I have made it seem as though if you didn’t look a certain way or listen to certain music that you weren’t the “right” kinds of people for my children to hang around. I’ve been critical of my own children and some of their choices too, yelling at them when what they needed was my love. I am so sorry for yelling. I’m sorry for the church not being there for you in your time of need. For the time when it was the church that condemned you. I’m sorry that we didn’t offer help when you needed it, even if all you needed was someone to listen. I’m sorry we have not been the example you needed to see; for the marriages that have fallen apart because of bad counsel. For making you think if you didn’t serve in a ministry, you weren’t “in.” Please don’t base your opinion of Jesus and Christianity on all you have seen, it has not been the best example, no, far from it.

So what do I say now? I long for you all to know and love Christ. It’s not what you think. But, unfortunately because I haven’t been the example you needed to see, many of you have questioned the very existence of God, some have even turned away. I so wish you would come back and see it is so different then what you saw before. What you saw before was a human trying to be perfect. But that’s not what its about. It was never supposed to be so complicated. I know I acted like I had it all figured out at times, I didn’t. I still don’t and never will either. I never meant to act that way. I am so sorry for making you feel as if you were all wrong and that the choices you made weren’t good. I’m sorry for looking at you as if you weren’t good enough. I’m sorry for looking at the way you dressed and thinking you were trash. It’s not what I wanted to do, I mean, I did it, but I didn’t mean for it to be a critical look.

So now what? How do I help you see that there really is truth out there? That there really is a hope? A future? A purpose? I know things can suck and seem hopeless. I know sometimes it feels like this is all there is and that it will never get better. But please, just listen; please hear what I have to say.

I read this in a book and believe its something I need to share- “God wants you to know Him. God isn’t hiding and He isn’t unreachable. He’s been waiting or you. Why? Because He wants you to find Him. He wants you to know that you’re the object of His affection. You were created in His image, made by Him for Him. And, He wants you to know that rooted deep inside of you is a longing for Him.” It’s why you are searching for something, because life demands an answer and God truly is it.

It may not make any sense. But it’s the truth. You really were made for so much more. But the purpose you were created for takes trusting; some even call it a leap of faith. It won’t be easy. You will face trials. But even without following Christ there are trials. Walking with Him was never supposed to be about religion, or how you look or what kind of music you listen to or rules, you know “do this” “don’t do that.” It is supposed to be about love, about family, about relationship. It’s supposed to be about being there for each other, helping each other out in times of need. It’s supposed to be about working together, lifting each other up. It’s supposed to be unconditional. No matter what.

I’m sorry it hasn’t been, and I’m asking you to take that chance. Please know, however, that I will fail you. I am not perfect and I don’t ever expect to be. I cannot let you think that all you’ve seen, heard, experienced is what being a Christian is. There have not been very many right examples out there for you to see.

Just know that it is one step at a time, one day at a time. Don’t give up, even when the difficult times come. And, when people fail, don’t blame it all on them. Hold on to the truth, the truth that God really is there. He really wants you to know Him. He really loves you. He really is the answer. He’s waiting, with arms open, ready for you to follow Him. Take a step of faith. Trust God and His word. Let go and let God lead. Follow after Him one day at a time. Forgive. Love. Trust. Not perfection, yes, mistakes will be made. But that’s when you get back up again, forgive again, keep walking forward, trust God for the answers. Reach out to others, it’s a risk worth taking. Even if it’s been the people calling themselves Christian’s that hurt you, even if it’s been the church that has failed you, realize something else – it wasn’t God. God will not fail you. I know you might be thinking “But, where was He when…” all I can say is I don’t know why the bad stuff happens. But I do know life with Christ, life trusting His way is better then doing it without Him… There is an unexplainable freedom waiting for you; an unexplainable joy; an overwhelming amount of strength and peace. It’s waiting, grab hold!

Remembering

2009-09-07T12:07:00.000-07:00

September 7, 2001 - planes flew without concern, people boarding planes could do just that, luggage check was easy, quick and you could bring whatever you wanted with you. People walked down streets and into stores without concern for how they looked. When you visited New York their were towers that stood high above the ground. The Pentagon functioned like it was a normal day. People who wore cloth on their heads never had to worry about being accused of terrorism. The worst terrorist act had been someone from our own home. No one suspected anything if you took pictures of planes. Young men didn't have to fear being shipped off for war the moment they enlisted in the military. It was, as most would agree, "normal" within the definition of itself. But, in 4 days all of that would change, drastically, forever.

I was getting ready to take my kids to class. We live on the West Coast so our morning was just getting busy. My mom called and told me to turn on the news. Those were pretty much the only words spoken. My entire family just sat and stared in disbelief. Then, the 2nd tower was hit. Unaware of the events that were still to come, we finally left for school. The words of CNN saying it could be terrorists stayed in my mind. By the time I arrived to the place classes were being held, one tower had already collapsed, the Pentagon had been hit and a plane had crashed in Pennsylvania. There was no way school would be "normal" that day. We had a small school, a homeschool support group. So, first class I just spoke to all the kids about what was going on and assured them that if they needed to talk to me they could, or if they just needed to step out of class later, it would be understandable.

Today, almost 8 years later, most of it for us on the West Coast is easily set aside. We remember by pictures, movies, and maybe the loss of a loved one. About 1 month ago, I found a book at the local dollar store that a police officer put together of pictures of the clean up. I bought it. Page by page I looked. But, I have to say, yesterday was most moving.

We went to our State Fair. They have a 9/11 memorial section. I did not realize it would be there and as we came out of an exhibit hall, there were pictures and a tall tower of bells. At first I thought it was just an exhibit of pictures. That's when I saw it - the ball with the names of people who died and the beam from one of the towers. That's when I realized I was standing in the middle of the 9/11 memorial exhibit. I had not seen it until now. It was overwhelming. Then the bells rang out, on the hour. I just stood there and listened. I touched the ball and stopped it from moving, then gave it another gentle push to start it again. I touched the "pentagon" with the names of those who died there. The Pennsylvania memorial is unique. A large water display that is indescribable. And then I touched the beam. I think the beam is the most amazing. Simply because as you look at it, you know it is 1 beam of so many that used to be part of the North tower. It is huge. I looks unshakable. Yet, there it is, on display. Slightly twisted at one end with a piece of twisted metal still attached. It weighs 2,000 pounds. A reminder of how vulnerable we are. A reminder of what happened 8 years ago.

It's already September

2009-08-31T21:22:00.000-07:00

OK, I know I am typing this August 31, but by the time most people read this, it will be September. And of course, really, August is over within just a couple hours anyway...

and so my post begins.

there are sometimes I wish I could really write what is on my mind and that people would actually read this blog and the words I write would make a difference.

there is a song i've heard that talks about how a person looks on the outside doesn't necessarily reflect what is on the inside. Of course this can be taken 1 of 2 ways - 1st that the persons appearance may be an issue "they look like... (fill in the blank)" or "Oh my gosh! Did you see him? Can you believe they are wearing that?" 2nd that person can look pretty happy, content and yet inside, they can be broken, overwhelmed. either way, too often we judge the outside and dismiss the inside. Think about it...when was the last time you asked someone how they were and took the time to hear their answer? or, when was the last time someone asked YOU how you were and you actually told them instead of responding with the pre-program answer "I'm good, how are you?" i'm rambling...

i have decided i don't like starting over...
i wish people could understand my thought process, but even i can't, so...
i don't always know how to share the truth of God's love in such a way that people understand and i'm afraid i have come across "holier then thou"...
i don't have time to take care of things that i should...
i will be glad when high school is done...at least until my youngest gets there...
i need shelves...
sometimes when i think i just might get there, someone drops a road block...
i miss connection...
i wish i had the money that the philanthropist does so i can do what he does (minus the scary stuff, lol)...
if i were to ever hit the jackpot, i'm afraid i would blow the money more then i would do what is good...
i miss playing games...
some times i wish we had a farm so i could have more animals, but farms are a lot of work...
i really wish i could have taken my kids horseback riding...
i get tired of FB and MS sometimes, but then am grateful there is at least a small bit of connection...
there are times i finally find that place to withdraw to for some quiet time only to be interrupted by something unavoidable...
there are people i have lost contact with that i wish i never had...
tearing down walls is a good thing...
i worry about some of my "kids" that have not been around for awhile...
i'm afraid i will never be organized or clutter free...
i think too much...
i miss my friends...
sleep is highly overrated...so is food =)...
ok, maybe not food, i do kinda enjoy cooking...

I am grateful my joy is not dependent on the above at all nor is it dependent on my circumstances. but sometimes i need to remind myself of that...

The Swing

2009-06-21T21:22:00.000-07:00

I hope that all who read this can understand what is behind the words, although I do not think it possible to truly understand until you yourself have sat in my fathers' swing...come by anytime :)

The Swing

Skillfully crafted.
The wood, hand chosen.
The stain, just the right color.
The hardware, carefully picked.
A swing was born.

Hung between birch trees, swaying in the wind.
Children laugh, even sleep.
Adults relax.
A beautiful piece of work.
Moved to a patio where a baby was rocked.
Laughter continued.
But then, the patio had to come down...

A tree stood strong.
Its branches reached high.
A perfect place for a swing.
Laughter returned.
A place to go for peace, to unwind.
To seek solitude from the noise.
Birds chirping all around.

A place to cry; a place to laugh.
A place to listen to the wind through the leaves.
A place to read, a place to write;
A place to swing.
A place for many, a place for one,
Sitting in the swing
Built by my father’s hands.

-Happy Fathers Day, Dad!

Inside Out

2009-06-10T22:10:00.000-07:00

short and simple tonight.

I have decided that we have compromised so many things that we have become inside out. You might say "don't you mean backwards?" to which I will tell you "No." because being backwards doesn't make everything look different. Think about it. If you walk backwards, the only thing that changed was the way you walk. All around you, including you, is still the same. But see, we have taken so many things that used to be wrong and made them OK, or tolerable, or worse, simply accepted. Even things about our selves. Take something as simple as the way we eat. If it gives you heartburn, simply take this to reduce acid or indigestion vs not eating what causes it... If I could turn myself inside out, what you used to think was my nose will no longer look like my nose. And whatever rule that said the tissues should be on the inside will now be "accepted" to be on the outside. Does that make sense? I hope so, but I will admit that sometimes what I want to say doesn't always come out that way...

so, if this is confusing and you would like clarification, simple ask... :)

Brownies

2009-05-18T20:00:00.000-07:00

OK, this is completely off the wall for my posts, but it is well worth it! This is from the cookbook "Alpha-Bakery, Children's Cookbook from Gold Medal,"
F is for Fudge Brownies
1/4 cup butter
6 ounces semisweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup sugar
2/3 cup flour
1/2 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
2 eggs
extra chips for the batter (no more than 1/2 cup!)
nuts optional, 1/2 cup

Heat oven to 350 and grease the bottom of an 8x8 pan.
Heat butter and 6 oz choco chips in 2-quart saucepan over low heat, stirring constantly, until melted; remove from heat. Using a wooden spoon, stir in remaining ingredients EXCEPT additional choco chips and nuts, until smooth. Stir in nuts and remaining chips. Spread into prepared pan. Bake until center sets, about 30 minutes.

the cool thing is this is a very easy recipe to make with your kids. I made them tonight with my 6-year old. I melted the stuff, she added the rest and stirred it all up. Maybe they taste better because she made them with me, but I'll let you be the judge...enjoy!

This probably won't make much sense...

2009-04-26T20:44:00.000-07:00

So many thoughts have been going through my head and heart since I wrote the previous entry. I want to put this into practice. Making a way for those who struggle or have even fallen away to reconnect. But even since I wrote it, I too have struggled. Not with God, but with how to put something together. I so want people to stay connected and yet so many have fallen away, or don’t know where they belong, or are just plain frustrated with the “church” today. I even worry that they won’t trust my intentions, or me. A friend of mine told me that she is not even sure she believes in God. That made me mad. Not at her, but at us, believers. Here’s the thing - We were never meant to do it on our own. We were not created to be separate, but to be together. It was never supposed to be about a building or a place of worship. However, today we have turned Christianity into a religion, a set of rules. And we have made the church about a building, about how well a pastor can speak, about children’s ministry, about what “we” have to offer. And when the “stuff” fails us or the people fail us, we decide it isn’t worth it. Many even decide to no longer fellowship with other believers. Some turn away from God, deciding he cannot be that real. That’s not ok! Especially when most of the reasons for not fellowshipping any longer stems from something a person, human and not perfect, did. I have yet to hear that it was God who embezzled; God who cheated; God who manipulated; God who brainwashed; God who…fill in your reason here.
This is not to say people haven’t been hurt. This is not to say that people don’t ever have a legitimate reason to be angry. It’s just that, isn’t God worth more than that? Isn’t my reason for loving Him simply because He first loved me? I’m not trying to get preachy here. But lets just get down to it for a minute. My whole relationship with Christ is supposed to be about me loving Him. And in return for loving Him, I will then love others. In loving others, I will forgive, I will serve, I will pray and I will do all I can to become more like Christ. That is, after all, what Christian means – “little Christ.” Does that mean we simply ignore what some people have done? Does it mean we don’t tell others that a certain pastor or congregation or gathering is wrong? I don’t have an answer that everyone will like or agree with. As you read what Jesus did, there certainly were times he pointed out what the Pharisees did wrong. But that same man LOVED the one who would turn him over to the people who would crucify him! That same man washed the disciples feet while THEY argued over who was best. That same man had the ability to call down 10,000 angels to come take him back home (those angles by the way were WAITING to rescue him!). That same man asked God to forgive those who nailed him to the cross. And that same man chose God’s will over his own. That same man died for me, for you, for all of us. Why? Because he loved us seems so cliché. We’ve said it so many times that it has apparently lost its meaning. So why did he? How about a different question. Why should we STILL believe in Him? Why should we STILL obey His commands? Because He brings freedom. He brings peace. He brings joy. He brings life. But these things come at a cost. A cost that REQUIRES that I do not respond the way the world does. A cost that DEMANDS I forgive. A cost that says love your enemies. A cost that says regardless of what happens to me, I will still love the Lord, I will still follow Him, I will still look to him for all the answers because he truly is all I need.
It is not easy. It will hurt. It will require faith beyond what we know. It will not make sense. It will challenge everything we know and when we learn that, it will challenge us again. So, how do I explain this in such a way that people hear what my heart so wants to convey? Because sometimes I know what I say does not come out the way I want it to. Sometimes what I want people to understand sounds like I am preaching, and sometimes it even sounds as if I am saying to people that what they went through is no big deal and that they should get over it. But I am not. I just want people to love Jesus. I just want people to understand what my heart feels, what my mind senses. Only, I don’t always explain it well. And even as I type this and think maybe this makes sense (if only a little bit), I still know it won’t come across the way I want it to and I’m even wondering if it makes any sense at all. So why bother? I hear about people (believers) being suicidal, not fellowshipping, not believing, slandering, harboring unforgiveness, gossiping, being so angry they would like to see people fail and so much more. That is not how Jesus was. It is not how we are supposed to be either. But we are human, sinful and we will mess up. I am not asking for people to be perfect. But I am asking that we start being more like Jesus. Then maybe, just maybe we will be, …be, well, maybe be is the wrong word. Ok… then, maybe we will do what Jesus did.

April 12, 2009, Resurrection Sunday

2009-04-12T20:00:00.000-07:00

Last night I was thinking about some things, about how the whole situation with the church, not just RLC, but us, THE church, is just messed up at times. And then I thought about the song “If We Are the Body” and a specific line – “A traveler is far away from home. He sheds his coat, and quietly sinks into the back row. The weight of their judgmental glances tells him that his chances are better out on the road.” And I started to wonder, how many people fit this persons? Being judged by the way they look, by what they wear, by how they talk. And how many others simply go unnoticed? Their pain quietly hiding behind their smile. We are supposed to be the body, Christ IN us. Yet, how many of us have been the one who didn’t notice someone because we were so busy with US? So consumed with the current gossip that we don’t even realize the person next to us is crying. This is me, being very open at the moment, but please don’t take this wrong – I have been married for just about 20 years now, yet at “church,” I am in fact single. Or as I like to say, too married to be single, too single to be married. In other words, I don’t “fit” in a category. There is no “single in marriage” bible study. I say that VERY lightheartedly because I think that title would be TERRIBLE! But my point is, although people know that, they don’t know me or what it is like. And there have been times I have been the one who was crying sitting next to you and no one noticed. Knowing that I have experienced that, I wonder how many others there are? You know, the kid who dresses in black and people judge them as gothic, or even suicidal or worse, demonic. And the woman whose husband hits her, did anyone see her bruise? What about the husband whose wife just left him, did you see him? Did you see the family who just lost everything? Did you talk to the lady whose kids are in so much trouble she just doesn’t know where they could end up? And what about the couple who just lost their child? Or the young adult who just wants to hear truth and be trusted? Or the teenager who so wants to find out who they are, but they are failing in school. What about the young lady who doesn’t think she is beautiful? Or the dad who can’t provide for his family any longer? Or the pastor who did something that has caused him to loose everything? Did you see them?
There is another part of the song, the chorus: “But if we are the Body, Why aren't His arms reaching Why aren't His hands healing Why aren't His words teaching And if we are the Body Why aren't His feet going Why is His love not showing them there is a way?” And it makes me wonder, when are we going to BE Jesus? When will we finally look so much like we say we are that people return to Jesus? There was a time that those who were in need knew they could turn to the body of Christ, the church, and find what they need. Yes, they need Jesus and yes, people are sharing the gospel, but then what? The worst part about this is that it is often other believers that we don’t notice. The ones who are supposed to already belong to the body, after all, that is what we are, the body. And, just like in our physical body, if a part of our body is hurting, the rest of it feels the hurt and does what needs to be done to fix it. So it is supposed to be for the spiritual body, even more so. In the book of Acts it speaks of the body meeting together in such a way that NO ONE WAS IN NEED. It wasn’t that no one had needs; it was that when the need came up, it was taken care of by the church!
When are we going to be the body? When are we going to be the church? When are we going to be Jesus to the world, you know, like we are supposed to be? It’s time we stopped making sure everyone knows we are Christians and just start BEING Christian.

2008-12-15T19:42:00.000-08:00

Christmas is upon us once again. The end of 2008 is just around the corner. I am truly convinced that this year has been the fastest year ever!

With all of this, I was trying to figure out what to write since I have not blogged for a bit. And I wanted to focus on this time of year. So much of this time of the year gets focused on buying gifts, decorating and cooking that we often forget the most important thing. I mean, sure, we all know that it’s celebrating the birth of Jesus, but how often do we take time to consider the story? The preparation? One of my favorite stories is found in the book of Luke, in fact, the very beginning-

In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin's name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you." Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end." "How will this be," Mary asked the angel, "since I am a virgin?" The angel answered, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God."
Mary’s response (how I would LOVE to have this faith!):
"I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said." Then the angel left her.

And then, there’s Joseph’s story which can be found in the book of Matthew chapter 1-
This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins." All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"--which means, "God with us." When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.

The story began with a child. The other night I watched a play where children from kindergarten through 8th grade put on a skit about the announcement of Jesus. Where we don’t really know what the angels might have been doing as they got ready to bring the announcement to Joseph, Mary and the shepherds, we know they had to be ready. We need to be ready too – ready to bring the good news of Jesus Christ – the good news of peace on earth BECAUSE God and sinners were reconciled! Not a peace absent trials. Not a peace because of everything going great. No, a greater peace. A peace that passes ALL understanding. A peace that can only come from a relationship with Jesus. A peace that exists because of the presence of God. And He brings peace through all of our circumstances. And this peace is for all who call on His name –

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called Wonderful Counselor,
Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Tis the Season

2008-11-14T06:45:00.000-08:00

No, not to be jolly, although a group of people think it is. The truth is, this time of the year brings much to the table. Lots of emotions change during this season, not just because Santa is bringing gifts, but because of the focus on Buy, Buy, Buy! And, watch out if you don't buy enough, you must not be a "good" person. Let's face it, why shouldn't our children have the latest? (I hope you sense the sarcasm!). And, let's not forget Thanksgiving - it's all about the food.

Well, it's not. It's not about the gifts. It's not about the food. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy making a feast and giving gifts (ok, getting them too!). BUT, too often we miss the mark. We fail to see the needs of those standing right in front of us. And now we have this company who feels it is necessary to take the approach of "why believe in a god?" Fox News has the latest... http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,450445,00.html It's a shame. I get that there are those who choose not to celebrate. I understand that some people don't agree with the "Reason for the Season." But to allow people to simply make up their own mind on what "good" means? To dare to say who needs God? In times like today, my question is "Who doesn't need God?"

We need a hope. We need to believe. Creation is longing for us to and if you search your own self, you will know without a doubt you were created for more. You will sense the yearning in your heart for answers, answers that can only be found in Christ.

People have questions today. People want answers. And the answers have to be real. They have to be truth. It is the truth that will set you free. The answer is there. The answer is waiting to be given. You just have to ask. I know, if you ask 20 people you will most likely get 20 answers. So, how do you find the answer that is real? I can answer this way - it is not an instant message that will come with the steps to peace. It is not an email or uploadable file that will show you the way. It takes time. Not because the answer is hard to find, but because we have to get past the mess. We have to weed through the crap we have been dealt for so long. Because we have been told we can "rationalize" our own answer. Wow. If we rationalized our every thought, our every answer, we never would have learned how to make a plane fly... We never would have found that inside the seeds that fall from an almond tree is a delicious nut... Or that peanut butter and chocolate would make such a great candy... We never would have discovered that some flowers can make a delicious tea or that some herbs are a remedy for aches and pain... I could go on. I hope you get my point. I hope this makes sense. It is that simple though and the answer you are looking for lies within you already, longing to come out, longing to be set free.

From a wise woman

2008-10-25T14:10:00.000-07:00

We are in a time very different from say 30 years ago. A time where we have the first African American candidate for VP, a first female candidate for VP, a time where same sex marriage is accepted, has been made legal and is now up to change again, an economic...hmm, what should i call it? an economic something. But, through all of this, I heard from a wise woman today. And this is what she has to say about one of the above issues.

"You know, as much as God is against the same sex thing, He also doesn't like people who judge. He is our only judge, so why should we, as people, be the ones to make a choice to ban something that someone chooses to be and do? I am not saying it is right, but I'm not going to vote to stop it...I see how much it hurts them. They feel like they're outcasts and aren't accepted in a lot of places just because of a choice they're making personally. Who are we to tell them what's right or wrong? Who are we to stop them from being who they want to be?"

Just a little input - before "we" try to answer the question she poses, consider this - do we ban people who have gossiped? Do we vote against people continuing to lie? steal? slander? What right do we have? none. Because we too have issues. We too choose to do things we know we shouldn't. I can say that confidently too because I know a little secret - you, just like me, are human. And, we will sin. Our sin is NO different in the eyes of God. Before any of us try to say "yeah, but..." don't go there. We can "yeah but" about all kinds of things.

Love God. Love people. Choose this day to serve Him. Choose this day to be a light to a world that needs to see.

Worth Reading

2008-10-03T08:05:00.000-07:00

This is from a gal by the name of Nancy Campbell. She has a ministry called "Above Rubies." Thought I'd share this one...

ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE

Psalm 27:4, "One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple."

David longed for the "House of the Lord." It was his favorite place to be. But David could not be in the house of the Lord continually, as much as he longed to. He was king of a nation. He had battles to fight; administration to attend to. But dear mother, we have the opportunity to live David's longing. Let me explain.

The house of the Lord is no longer one temple as it was in David's day. It is not even a church building where we attend on Sundays or Saturdays today. The house of the Lord speaks of His presence. God wants your home to be His house where His presence dwells; a place where you abide in Him and He abides in you. The house of the Lord is abiding fellowship with Christ. The house of the Lord is your kitchen where you prepare the meals; the house of the Lord is your dining table where you feed your family and make every meal a love affair; the house of the Lord is any room in the home where you are working or interacting with your children.

In your home you can behold the beauty of the Lord. As you abide in Him and look to Him, He will impart His grace to you in your time of need. He will show you that He is the God who is enough for every challenge and every situation. He is with you, in your home, and will never leave you or forsake you. No, not even when everything seems overwhelming and you feel like tearing your hair out! You are still in the house of the Lord at this moment. Instead of despairing about the situation, stop for a moment and realize that God is with you. He has promised that He will not fail you. Thank Him that He is with you. Thank Him that He cannot fail you.

In your home you can inquire in His temple. David had to go God's temple to inquire of the Lord. He faced battles, enemies and challenges; He needed God's discernment, wisdom and strength. You also long for God's wisdom. You are desperate to know what to do. You cannot go on without His strength. Praise the Lord, you don't have to get into your car and rush off to a church building. You are in the house of the Lord right now. You can inquire in His temple right now. He will give you His wisdom. He has promised, remember.

All you have to do is abide--that literally means to live in His presence. It means to acknowledge that Christ is living within you and that you are in Him. You are inseparable. You are one. He is your life source. You can't live without Him (well, I can't anyway!). Your own strength wains; you need His. Your wisdom is human; you need His divine wisdom. Your love runs out the door; you need His agape love. You are depressed and down in the dumps; His joy does not depend on how you feel. You feel your life is worthless; you can only bear fruit to bless your family and touch other lives as you abide.

John 15:4-5 says, "Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit; for without me can do nothing." There it is. The secret to living in the house of the Lord all the days of your life.

How I love those words... "all the days of my life." It doesn't matter what my day is like, God is with me. It doesn't matter whether I think God has left me; He is bigger than my thoughts. My thoughts deceive but God doesn't change.

See your home in a new light. It is the house of the Lord. You can live in it all the days of your life.

Love from NANCY CAMPBELL

PRAYER:
"Thank you, Lord, for showing me that my home is the house of the Lord. Help me to enjoy my home in a new way. Thank you that I don't have to visit the house of the Lord. I live in it! Amen." AFFIRMATION: I am not a visitor but a dweller in the house of the Lord. - Isaiah 41: 10, 13; Hebrews 13:5-6; James 1:5-8.

If you know others who would be blessed by these devotions, you are welcome to forward them or let them know they can subscribe by sending a blank email to subscribers-on@aboverubies.org

Hmm

2008-09-13T21:52:00.000-07:00

OK, now that's frustrating.... I was already having a hard time figuring out what I wanted to write, started typing some things and my internet decided to quit on me. So, what I had written I have now lost...not that it was much.

So, I will leave it at this - there is much on my mind and I'm having a hard time trying to put it into words. When I do, I will post. Until then, below is a list of things that either really inspire me or stir something unexplainable within me. It may not make a whole lot of sense, but it's what I'm posting...

Family pictures
Hearing about divorce
People having sex before marriage or affairs
Relationships
Pictures, especially black and white
Sharing what is good, truth
Wanting people to know God’s truth
Fellowship
Cooking for others, cooking period
Serving
Giving: time, resources
People who stop going to church
People who talk about things & won’t let go
Unforgiveness
The freedom in forgiving
Music
Education
Movies
Seeing people in need, knowing this and knowing how much we waste and how much stars (movie, music, sports, etc) make.
Destruction, natural
Birth
Children
Hearing rumors, slander
Words of death
Words of life
Watching “Diners Drive-ins & Dives” or for that matter, the Food Network
Wanting people to understand why I stay married
Watching someone play the violin or piano
When people complain about things that happened a long time ago, even 2 months ago. It’s time to move on!
The fact that we, as believers, aren’t representing Jesus.
Hearing about people who have been turned off from the “church” because they were hurt (this is double feelings – both anger & empathy)
Listening to creation wake up
Listening to my bread crack after baking

2008-07-04T09:58:00.000-07:00

i want to do what You want me to do
i want to be who You created me to be
i know that at times i look at things other people do and i get all excited and want to do it. that's mainly because i hear the excitement in them about what they did. it's not necessarily that i want to do exactly what they did, like when i listened to everyone's testimony about the Philippines or when i hear the passion in someone's voice sharing something that happened, or hearing about lives changed.
i guess it's that passion i want. that's what it really is - to do things well; to be passionate about whatever i do;to let out that feeling that starts to come alive in side of me when i see, do or hear certain things. i don't know how else to explain it. i've never been able to find the words to make it make sense.
and, to begin to say "when i do this...that's when that feeling comes" doesn't mean "that" is what i really want to do. but i know there is something that lives within me that wants to come out. i've felt it. i just still don't know how to let go. and i believe that until this, whatever it is, gets resolved, thinking about dreams will remain confusing for me. why? because i have not been able to, hmmmm, good question.
and i don't know how to explain my answer except like this - is it photography? or cooking? i don't really know. but when i do them, sometimes that feeling i described above starts to burn inside of me. other times it has started when i've prayed, or served, or taught. sometimes ti starts with no common explanation, completely random...or is it?
and that's where i leave it, and maybe, just maybe i'll listen in such a way that i can hear what "it" is

60 Days Ago...

2008-06-11T06:00:00.000-07:00

ok, give or take a day, but...

Planned a visit with my older brother and his family...they were to come out June 10th, but it was a surprise for our parents...boy were they surprised. The reason for this entry though is just to try to put some things in writing...wish i could have recorded every instance where we, the children, almost blew the cover of them coming to visit. Seems like every time we turned around one of us would say something that just brought it too close! Yet, every time, somehow, it never managed to come out that they were coming. Thank you Lord for Your hand, i know it was not us that kept it a secret!

i want to remember my parent's face when they saw their oldest son and his family standing there. wish i could describe it in such a way that anyone reading this would be able to picture their faces. it was like they were dreaming, not really sure they were standing there at all...priceless. It's been 7 years since they saw my sister-in-law. and really, 7 years since adam too because the last time he came out was only for 2 days... it's going to be a great visit!

Sleep, or lack there of

2008-05-27T05:29:00.001-07:00

Why is it some nights sleep comes without an issue and sleep lasts until the lovely alarm wakes you? and why is it some nights it doesn't quite work that way?

last night was one of those nights that didn't work. Even when i went to bed, although i was tired, i couldn't get right to sleep... But, figure i was out by 11pm, 1:30 rolls around...i remember because i was awake. not sure why, just woke up. but i woke up with a feeling to get up. honestly, i usually do anyway. you know, go to the bathroom and just peek in on the kids. so i lay back down, but can't fall asleep. it's not that i wasn't tired. so i move to the couch. 2:30 slowly rolls around...i think a bit, nothing too much, but i think. i started thinking about people in my past, not in a bad way, just people who have come in and out of my life. then, i start to fall asleep. i believe i saw the clock say 3ish...and you know what? i wake up to our fire alarm! talk about waking back up! of course i jump up to see what it went off for, but as i get up to investigate, it stops. ok, this is not like the kind of chirp that happens when the battery is low, this is a full on alarm. i smell all over the entire house (fortunately that's only 965 square feet, lol) and outside. i smell the wall heater (that is turned off, never on). nothing. GRATEFUL i don't smell smoke and that the alarm is not going off, but now, wide awake again (something about the adrenaline of panic? lol). so, needless to say, cannot get back to sleep again.....4 o'clock... i'm thinking great, i have to be up at 5... sleep finally came, just in time for the real alarm to go off, you know, the one i set on purpose to tell me to get up, time to get hubby up for work... and so now, i'm here, at the computer, typing about sleep...it is 5:39. i could go back to sleep, but find myself thinking no, i want to type about this (i think a lot!! LOL).

and just a side note, the typos? well, my keyboard is missing the g key and the t key and one shift key. it takes too much effort to make sure everything is right...

ok, but seriously... while i was awake after the smoke alarm, i realized that previous sleepless nights i told myself i would ask God if there is a reason i am awake, or at least that i would pray. so i began to pray. i prayed specifically for people who have lost loved ones - a friend of mine just lost his wife and just about a month ago, another friend of mine lost her husband. anyway, just praying. people say "why not take something to help you sleep?" i've decided i would much rather be awake to pray then to sleep right through something God has for me...not sure if that was the reason i was awake, but i would rather learn it was then find out i missed an opportunity...

another note, had the strangest dream after falling asleep after praying...couldn't even begin to explain it here...

oh well, i'll just take a nap later.

Home school

2008-04-14T19:28:00.000-07:00

OK, so i took on the task of homeschooling almost 8 years ago now...whew! My oldest graduated in 2006, my second is a sophomore and my youngest will start kindergarten this fall. Just know a VERY important thing should you decide home school is for you...there is no easy answer! Each kid is different, each parent teaches different. there, i said it. Something that seems so stinking obvious, yet, we seem to forget it when we take on a huge task like homeschooling.

Success stories are always good to read though, so here goes. My oldest daughter never really had a favorite subject, that is, until her last year in school. She always did the work, but just never really enjoyed the classes. There was a class that actually had her do a 1/4 semester in each topic - cooking, construction, child care and one other i can't seem to remember. She really enjoyed the cooking and was quite proud of her skill in "planing" a piece of wood (i admit, it looked really nice when she brought it home). But, 2 subjects really had her interest - Astronomy and Photography. Both curriculum was by the same place, you'll have to email me and ask me the name if you are interested. She really liked those, and picked up a lot of knowledge from them. Sure wish she could have taken the course sooner...

second success: my son. the one who, even as a 10th grader, has not liked reading or writing. the one who i could not get to write a 500 word essay no matter what. Then, i had an idea - brainstorm each section of the story - main character, plot, beginning, end, etc. Then, i had him start connecting everything and all of a sudden, he was at over 800 words! He is still writing too, over 26 pages of binder paper worth of words. even if i estimate using a standard of 100 words per page (they are handwritten), that's over 2600 words...and, he is excited about the story. I was talking with a young man at church on Sunday and was telling him i was going to have my son work on the ending...he said "why? let him keep going." and i realized, he is absolutely right. I will keep checking to make sure he is looking ahead, but hey, why stop a good thing.

i really wish i had been able to find out my oldests' interest in astronomy sooner. but, it certainly helped me get outside the box of teaching.

You know, it's not for everyone. But, the alternative for me, well, i just don't see it as an option...

silentary suicide

2008-03-18T10:56:00.000-07:00

the things that go through my mind
are crazy..
scary..
it’s all
suicide,
hatred,
love.

what has become of those thoughts?
the actions that have taken place..
you wouldn’t believe.

why do i think these?
who has made me feel such pain?

i feel so much pain.
slowly, I am suffocating.
it’s like someone is smothering me with a pillow,
whispering in my ear, "die."
it brings tears.
i try to fight back,
i try not to listen,
but his words are so strong,
i start to listen.

he whispers more,
you’re worthless.
you’re a nobody.
you’re nothing.
no one wants you.
no one really cares about you.
then he screams,
you’re ugly.
you slut.
you’re trash.
look, look at yourself.
you’re filth.

this seems to be taking over my mind.
this, thing,
it haunts me,
a living nightmare i wake up to.
i keep running to the light at the end,
but it keeps getting further and further away.

i’m grasping for air.
i can’t seem to get free from what is suffocating me.
my pulse is slowly fading...

Think

2008-01-21T21:29:00.000-08:00

Life is about learning. Life is about obstacles and opportunities. Life is about turning failures into opportunities. Life is…do we ever stop learning? Do we ever do something and NOT learn from it? I suppose we could, if we choose to simply ignore it. but truth is, we always learn. Just because we choose to not respond to it or pay attention to what we have learned doesn’t mean we didn’t learn. Our choices dictate our next step for the most part and completely define our future. So, why does it take so long for us to figure things out? Why is it that we can do things over and over with the same results yet think we will get different results? Why is it that we think we can do damaging things in our life without negatively affecting our future? Hmm, key word… T H I N K… ‘to use the mind to consider ideas and make judgments; to anticipate something happening;’ ooh, these are good- ‘to have a conscious mind, to some extent of reasoning, remembering experiences, making rational decisions, etc’ ‘to employ one's mind rationally and objectively in evaluating or dealing with a given situation’ ‘to consider for evaluation or for possible action upon.’ So maybe that’s it…we just don’t think.

one more thing, i just let my 16 year old go on his first date...life flies by when you aren't looking!

December 30, 2007

2007-12-30T14:14:00.000-08:00

It is the end of the year already. I cannot believe it. My oldest is 18 1/2, my son is 16 and my youngest will be 5 in 4 days. So, some reflections of 2007…
* Brittani turned 18
* Vince turned 16
* My father-in-law passed away
* My friends’ son passed away
* My dog, Lightning passed away
* We got a new puppy
* I have learned to let go and let my children grow (and still learning!)
* We went independent in homeschool
* I turned 40
* I learned how to make sourdough bread, mmmm mmmmm good!
* I let my youngest have an imagination! (you’ll have to ask, but it has to do with not worrying about the small stuff)
* Camping in August
* Surprise Birthday lunch
* Thanksgiving Day was great and so was the day after
* Taia was healed
* Grace again and again
* I’m learning how to shine, to love, to embrace and to see things more clearly
* I am learning to dream again…

Time is too short to stay angry, too short to not laugh. We never know what someone is going through, so we just need to love more and laugh more. And, I think it’s time we all made a “bucket” list and start doing them! Why wait? Ok…Happy New Year!

Today

2007-12-13T09:18:00.000-08:00

At what point did this journey take me where I’ve never been before? Last year? 5 years ago? And when did things become so … different? Last night at 242, Greg went back over the words that spelled “WASTE” from Sunday’s message. Worry. Anger. Striving. Turmoil. Explaining. And it really hit me. I have turmoil. Not as much as I used to. But, there are still times when things inside just become a whirling mess. But, this revelation didn’t overwhelm me like usual. It was clarity, clarity among the turmoil. Doesn’t seem possible. But, for the first time, I realized it’s about trust. OK, I don’t mean my first time ever hearing about it. I’ve known that most of the crap, the worry, the explaining boils down to not trusting that God has everything under control and that all I really need to do is look to Him. I’ve heard it. Every Sunday message boils down to loving God and trusting Him. But this time, I faced it. Last night, I looked at trust and realized that no, I do not trust God with every part of my life. The crazy thing is it’s not that I think I can take care of it all myself either. It’s just that I don’t trust Him. Wow, did I really just type that? Trust God with what? My husband. My children. My weight. My house. My walk with Him and this deep desire for more.
Trusting Him. Somewhere I’ve really only been a little bit, or have I? I know there is more. Not materially. Spiritually. More with Him. More relationship with Him. More knowledge, wisdom, love, discipline. More GOD, less ME. And so, a new path begins, or maybe not so new in as much as it’s just letting go…

It's Official

2007-12-06T14:41:00.000-08:00

It's official, I own a blog. I will start with something simple, and then who knows...

It is the season of business, shopping, spending, spending more, wrapping, putting up lights, being in crowded places, standing in long lines, oh, and did I say spend? All for Christmas. But wait. Isn't it Christ Mas? The reason for the season Jesus? For most of us, we know that it is the day we, as Christians, celebrate the birth of Christ Jesus. But it's almost like after that, we stop. We forget that He actually grew up. OK, so, ready? Here it is, plain and simple:

I bring you good news of GREAT joy!
A Savior has been born!
and YOU Can find Him!

It really is that simple, and the greatest news ever. Today, we can find Him, Jesus, Emmanuel. And when we find Him, we will shine. Not because of anything we do, but simply because He is in us and He shines. Then we are called to let our light shine - that's where the "do" comes in. Now, we have to peel off the layers of human so that we can shine for all to see. It is time to shine. People need to see the light. And if we all shine, we will be the city of hope people need to see and they will run to it, they will run to Jesus.

"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.
Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.
Instead they put it on its stand, and it give light to everyone in the house.
In the same way, let your light shine before men,
that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."
Matthew 5:14-16

Shine Today. As long as it is called today, SHINE.