Shine Today

A friend of mines daughter posted this on her page " i'll blink, and be thirty-then blink, and be dead." She's 21. I was 21 when I got married and when I got pregnant. 21 years ago. Now, my 1st born is getting married and having a baby of her own. How did that happen? Is there a slow mode anywhere? This same friend made a comment to me the other day about how when she lived in Missouri life was a little slower and being back in California for a VERY short time she already feels the pull to go go go. Sometimes I feel like life has gotten so far away from me that i don't know how to get it back. You know what I mean? Like how do you get done what needs to get done, do what you need to do and get it all done? I move piles from one place to the next, like just today. I cleaned my counters in my kitchen, which included a pile of papers (important papers). guess where they went? my table... If I clean my table, guess where the paper pile will go? my counter...and...

December. How is it already December? Seems like I just wrote a blog entry for Christmas 2008 and now here we are, 2009. Does it ever slow down again?? Well, I've been helping my great-Uncle with some things at his house. It has given me a new perspective of how much we really need each other. Going through things that have been accumulating since 1953 is quite a task. But, I so enjoy it! Watching my uncle as he sees the things we find for him to tell us whether it's keep, give away or throw away is priceless. He can tell stories just with his face. And he remembers so much! He can still remember enough French to teach today if he could! I do miss our times together as a family. We used to get together every year! Thanksgiving, Christmas and any other reason there is. He always brought the homemade ice cream. The other day we were talking and he pulled out a recipe for Orange Marmalade Cake. Told him I'd make it, just for him. And the books, wow, does he have a...

If I could tell you what burns inside of me and knew it would make sense I would. Even as I write this I have already forgotten a thought. My heart aches for you all. Watching the struggles you go through, the aches and pains; yes, I know in life it is unavoidable, but I also know for some of you it can get hopeless. There are some people who say this is just how it is, but that answer always brings me pain and frustration I cannot explain. I want to shout at those who say it, telling them that answer is not good enough. Kids are dying without knowing the truth, without walking in it-I’m not OK with it. But, I’ve never known what to do. A part of me believes I need to start here- I’m so sorry for ever making you feel as though you don’t have a voice, as if you wouldn’t understand. I’m sorry for being hypocritical, religious, judgmental, critical. That is not how it was supposed to be, I never meant to hurt anyone. I’ve judged you by the way you look...

September 7, 2001 - planes flew without concern, people boarding planes could do just that, luggage check was easy, quick and you could bring whatever you wanted with you. People walked down streets and into stores without concern for how they looked. When you visited New York their were towers that stood high above the ground. The Pentagon functioned like it was a normal day. People who wore cloth on their heads never had to worry about being accused of terrorism. The worst terrorist act had been someone from our own home. No one suspected anything if you took pictures of planes. Young men didn't have to fear being shipped off for war the moment they enlisted in the military. It was, as most would agree, "normal" within the definition of itself. But, in 4 days all of that would change, drastically, forever. I was getting ready to take my kids to class. We live on the West Coast so our morning was just getting busy. My mom called and told me to turn on the news....

OK, I know I am typing this August 31, but by the time most people read this, it will be September. And of course, really, August is over within just a couple hours anyway... and so my post begins. there are sometimes I wish I could really write what is on my mind and that people would actually read this blog and the words I write would make a difference. there is a song i've heard that talks about how a person looks on the outside doesn't necessarily reflect what is on the inside. Of course this can be taken 1 of 2 ways - 1st that the persons appearance may be an issue "they look like... (fill in the blank)" or "Oh my gosh! Did you see him? Can you believe they are wearing that?" 2nd that person can look pretty happy, content and yet inside, they can be broken, overwhelmed. either way, too often we judge the outside and dismiss the inside. Think about it...when was the last time you asked someone how they were and took the time to hear their answer? or...

I hope that all who read this can understand what is behind the words, although I do not think it possible to truly understand until you yourself have sat in my fathers' swing...come by anytime :) The Swing Skillfully crafted. The wood, hand chosen. The stain, just the right color. The hardware, carefully picked. A swing was born. Hung between birch trees, swaying in the wind. Children laugh, even sleep. Adults relax. A beautiful piece of work. Moved to a patio where a baby was rocked. Laughter continued. But then, the patio had to come down... A tree stood strong. Its branches reached high. A perfect place for a swing. Laughter returned. A place to go for peace, to unwind. To seek solitude from the noise. Birds chirping all around. A place to cry; a place to laugh. A place to listen to the wind through the leaves. A place to read, a place to write; A place to swing. A place for many, a place for one, Sitting in the swing Built by my father’s hands. -Happy Fathers Day, Dad!

short and simple tonight. I have decided that we have compromised so many things that we have become inside out. You might say "don't you mean backwards?" to which I will tell you "No." because being backwards doesn't make everything look different. Think about it. If you walk backwards, the only thing that changed was the way you walk. All around you, including you, is still the same. But see, we have taken so many things that used to be wrong and made them OK, or tolerable, or worse, simply accepted. Even things about our selves. Take something as simple as the way we eat. If it gives you heartburn, simply take this to reduce acid or indigestion vs not eating what causes it... If I could turn myself inside out, what you used to think was my nose will no longer look like my nose. And whatever rule that said the tissues should be on the inside will now be "accepted" to be on the outside. Does that make sense? I hope so, but I will admit ...