Friday, February 10, 2012

The circle

Ever wonder why we find ourselves in the exact same place over and over? Feel like you've dug a rut so deep you will never get out? I do. And a thought came to me.  Some time ago we started on a journey but instead of turning left, we kept going right. Slowly we ended up going right so many times that we started going in circles.  Not a big deal if we eventually realize it and turn left, but for me (and i'm sure for others) we stay on the circle so much that we no longer remember how to get out.  Every once in awhile we see the left turn to take us off the well worn path, but we pass it, for whatever reason. The crazy part is we will tell others (or just ourselves) that we can't get off the path or that we don't know how.  But the truth is, we CAN and we DO know how.

So, why don't we?  For me, its like i've been on this circle for so long my "want to" isn't strong enough to take me off the path.  I know God is my source and He can take me off the path.  But, I struggle with unbelief. And with that, I struggle with frustration, desire, time, laziness, and what ever else I let get in my way.  Someone made a comment recently about how they don't understand how someone can have a medical reason to change and they still don't.  I have a medical reason to change.  Actually, we all do. but mine affects my body more than others.  I have learned that the medical reason is still not as strong as my lack of want to.  I believe it all goes back to the reality that I have been this way for so long, my habit (or whatever) doesn't even need to try to stop me any longer.  I just do things because that's what I do.

Now what?  How do I (and many others) get off the merry-go-round?  How do we get to the place where our want to is stronger?  Before you say "get an accountability partner" or "just start" or whatever else you'd like to say, realize that for some of us we know what to do, we know how to do it, we really do want it but we just haven't been able to figure out how to keep it up, along with everything else that still has to be done.

I know God has the door open for me to get off my circle.  I know it's there, I see it all the time.  I have just been going in this circle for so long I forgot how to walk through the door.