Friday, September 16, 2016
When did bandaids stop working?
Nothing prepares you for your children growing up. All of a sudden you are faced with adults who will make decisions and choices of their own and when life comes crashing in, you can’t run in and save them, even if you want to, even if they are open to you coming in. but we can’t. Why? Because. That’s it, plain and simple...ha! Simple? NO. Hard? YES! And it’s not even about our children making bad choices, that’s a whole other conversation. This is just life stuff, you know, job loss, car problems, divorce, money issues, relationship problems… and you want to run and say here I am to save the day, but it doesn’t work that way, and I can’t even explain why, it just doesn’t. And nothing prepares you for that day...NOTHING. It doesn’t matter that we were there once. Kind of like hearing advice from your parents when we were teens, and we grow up saying “if only I had listened…” As a mom it tears at my heart to watch my kids deal with life. I just want to pick them up and tell them it will be ok. Why can’t “bandaids” keep working when they grow up! You remember, when a bandaid fixed every boo-boo. Or a kiss made it all better. Or simply being held.
There have been so many times that i don’t even know what to say to my older kids when life comes barreling in at them. Don’t quit, don’t give up, it will get better, just hang on, you will get through this...but let's face it, when you are in the moment, these words don’t help much. Tell a mom with a toddler that they will get through the tantrums, outbursts, night terrors---sure, they will, we all did. But in the moment, that mom is feeling like “are you sure?” Tell an adult son that they will find a relationship, just hold on. But when the 25 year old really wants a family, now, hearing the words wait isn’t going to help. Tell your 22 year old son that “yes, it sucks that he has lost 2 very close people, but you will get through this” doesn’t help much...because it hurts now. I’m not saying don’t give words of encouragement, because we need to. But watching a child hurt while they wait is hard. Watching part of you struggle, be overwhelmed, seem ready to give up, get discouraged and hear life continue to throw the curve balls just plain sucks. Because sometimes those curve balls come one after the other...can’t we just get a ball every once in awhile???
So you sit, and shed your own tears, and your own heart hurts, and you hold on for them...and wait. Wait for the day they WILL see the other side and pray it comes soon.
“Come out of sadness From wherever you've been Come broken hearted Let rescue begin Come find your mercy Oh sinner come kneel Earth has no sorrow That heaven can't heal Earth has no sorrow That heaven can't heal So lay down your burdens Lay down your shame All who are broken Lift up your face Oh wanderer come home You're not too far So lay down your hurt Lay down your heart Come as you are There's hope for the hopeless And all those who've strayed Come sit at the table Come taste the grace There's rest for the weary Rest that endures Earth has no sorrow That heaven can't cure So lay down your burdens Lay down your shame All who are broken Lift up your face Oh wanderer come home You're not too far So lay down your hurt Lay down your heart Come as you are Come as you are Fall in his arms Come as you are There's joy for the morning Oh sinner be still Earth has no sorrow That heaven can't heal Earth has no sorrow That heaven can't heal So lay down your burdens Lay down your shame All who are broken Lift up your face Oh wanderer come home You're not too far So lay down your hurt Lay down your heart Come as you are” -lyrics by David Crowder