How Are You?

How are you? I’m good, how are you? I’m fine.
How are you? My 17 year old daughter ran away.
How are you? My friends’ 15 year old daughter is pregnant.
How are you? I’m doing OK.
How are you? I'm not really sure.
How are you? Eh, I’m alright.
How are you? My husband was just diagnosed with cancer.
And life moves on, like the answers were just left there.

We ask this question all the time, more often than not, the response is “I’m good” or “I’m fine.” Lately I’ve noticed some people are sharing more, but in those responses, there’s hardly ever time to get past the response. Does that make sense? I just mean, we ask the question, how are you, but rarely do we listen to the answer. And even when we get more than the robot response of I’m good, we may say I’m sorry, but then we move past it...because life doesn’t pause and must keep going.

But are we really saying something else? Are we saying “hey, i really want to know how you are, but I don’t have time for your answer.” Or worse, “i’m only asking because it's the “polite” thing to do.”
Today I saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile. His response was “Eh, I’m alright.” But he was on the phone, so I couldn’t get more details. Something about his face said there was more, but there was no time. Is this really what we’ve come to? We are so busy today, and in such a hurry. But I can’t help to think, what if we really made the time to hear the answer, to validate people’s life, to respond in such a way, others will know they were heard.

How are you?

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