Saturday, June 18, 2011

Just Live

I have come to realize that most of my life has been just doing, just being.  For me, I never had to be told to do my homework, I just did it.  I didn't have to be told to get a job, I just did.  Lots of things, I just do.  Its been this way since I was little.  By the time I first learned how to tie my own shoes, I did it, no help, even if it took 30 minutes to get them tied, I did it (my mom tried to help, but I always said I can do it).  Even when it came to teaching my kids how to do math, I can show them all the ways to solve a problem, but learned that I was just doing it, not really teaching it. 

This comes in to play in several areas of my life.  The problem is that there are times I need to have an answer as to HOW I do it or WHY I do it.  Or, better yet, to show someone else how or why to do something.  But, my words rarely seem to come out right.  When this happens, I watch the response of the one I am trying to explain something to and it's not a good sight.  It often comes with a frustrated result, and, can even cause the person to believe I am disappointed in them.

I made a decision at the beginning of this year that I would process things through the word LIVE.  I don't want to "just be" anymore.  But, how does that work?  Below is the definition I found:

Live - to show the characteristics of life; be alive
Life - the animate existence of an individual, to fill with courage or boldness; 
Animate - encourage, to make lively, vivacious, or vigorous; give zest or spirit to

Its the last word that gets me.  I want to encourage. Because God tells me to and because we all need to be encouraged.  I want my words to bring life to those around me.   So maybe my word needs to be Animate.  Either way, I have found that to live is not as easy as it sounds when you have "just been" for over 30 years.  It's not that I feel I "only" exist. That's not it at all.  I don't really know how to explain it (which has ALWAYS been part of my problem).  All I know is, I don't have all the answers, I'm tired of sounding arrogant, I don't like being hypocritical and sometimes in my passion, I come across really strong and opinionated.  I don't mean to, it's just who I am.

I want to Animate.  I want to live a life that leads others to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.  He was my answer and continues to be my answer.  AND, I know, without a doubt, 100% guarantee, He is your answer too.  That's how I want to live.  I want to ANIMATE!  Just be warned, sometimes I will animate loudly and boldly and it could come across wrong.

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