Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Even Though my Eyes are Closed

It's been said that there is no pause button on life, and that often it appears as though the fast-forward button is stuck. But time isn’t really in fast-forward, or slow motion or even paused. It’s the same for all of us, whether a newborn or that of someone who is 117. We were each given the same 24 hours to complete a day; 1,440 minutes; 86,400 seconds; 86,040,000,000,000 nanoseconds (sorry, had to throw that last one in).  Some of us will finish more time than others, there is no mathematical equation that makes everyone equal. And, throughout our life, we will go through good and bad, it’s inevitable. But sometimes, I wish I could close my eyes and hold life still…just for a moment.

About 8 months ago, I got a phone call that one of my bonus kids died. He was 26, a little over 9,490 days. Life just kept going. It didn't matter that friends were broken, that his little girls were confused or that a mom was devastated. A couple months ago a friend called telling me a story that you would think came right out of a movie-her ex was arrested on crazy charges, this affects so many and isn't close to being over. Again, life doesn't pause so she can get her bearings straight. Last night I took my neighbor to the hospital because her husband went to the ER. He is 229,464 days, or 62 years and counting (which is good). Life still doesn't stop. My friend was very worried, concerned that time was running out. And then today, my bonus daughter's 2 1/2 month old son died-78 days; 1,872 hours. It doesn’t matter that his mom is a wreck, that his grandparents are devastated or that his sister is looking for him. There are no words.

In the middle of this, life goes on. And tomorrow I will get up, do the dishes, and at some point, go to work. Life isn't pausing...even though my eyes are closed.

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